Stars Going Out
by NorthernShinigami
Summary: Soon, the terrorizing sensations wavered. He still felt like choking, like crying, like raging and bursting but suddenly it was all bearable. Not easier, not lighter, not less painful, just bearable. And then she spoke and he moved, and he wished he hadn't. One shots, Hitsugaya-centered


**Disclaimer**: I don't own _Bleach_. all rights reserved to Tite Kubo. I don't own the song _Girl's Not Grey_ by AFI, which is, apparently, _Hitsugaya's official character song_.

**Summary**: Soon, the terrorizing sensations wavered. He still felt like choking, like crying, like raging and bursting but suddenly it was all bearable. Not easier, not lighter, not less painful, just _bearable_. And then she spoke and he moved, and he wished he hadn't.

**Warnings**: Major spoilers for chapter 592 with quotes.

**A/N:** This chapter won't be going anywhere into a fully multi-chapter story, but I have few chapters I want to write and they may or may not relate to one another, But don't expect an actual ending.

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"Ah, I see, I see... even as a corpse, his body movements are exactly the same as it did when was living... rather, comparing that Zombie Girl of theirs who had her will and consciousness to _you_, who clearly doesn't, I would assume you were made into a Zombie _before_ you died... Am I right?"

_Kurotsuchi's way-too-casual tone irritates him_.

"Bingo!"

_But that voice is even more annoying!_

"Those that are turned into zombies before death have fresh cells, so their movements and reactions are much better. On top of that, they no longer have any free will so I can control them all I want! It's a win-win situation, no matter how you look at it-!"

_Really annoying._

This is _ridiculous_.

_absolutely _ridiculous.

He's dead. He's a corpse, a _Zombie _controled by a crossdresser-in-denial with the most sickening smell of blood and something entirely inappropriate for a boy his age-looking to think about, and he doesn't think about his actions, he just acts, letting his nerves and limbs and brain receive and act by the orders of that disgusting creature's blood and hack his comrades, allies, _friends _to pieces with his own sword.

He's dead, and It's a hard concept to wrap his mind about, especially since he _has _a mind.

Why? Why does he still has his mind and can still think, even to the slightest, most feeble degree that this woman _(male)_ is a vile repulsive freak if he's Dead? Corpses don't have minds, or emotions, or the ability to think by themselves badly of their master—

—_Or the despair to make such eyes when cutting down one of their own—_

—Or the ability to possess that strong urge to grab that rascal by her _-his- _hair and _repeatedly smash _his _her _face hard into the white stone rubble he's standing on.

And why does Hyorinmaru still got his powers? Don't Zanpakuto die together with their designated Shinigami?

But that's not entirely true, is it? There were Shinigami who wielded a Zanpakuto not of their own origins. Zanpakuto can still maintain its form after the death of its Master. Especially a Zanpakuto like Hyorinmaru, who has been reappearing anew every few centuries. It's so strong it can still preserve his powers and be unwillingly used by the cold, dead bloodstained hands of his master.

_Rather than pound Ayasegawa's forehead into oblivion he's yearning to smash his head against that Shemale's empty skull and—_

_Cold, dead, bloodstained hands._

Cold. His hands are _cold_. His hands were _always _cold, ever since he held Hyorinmaru first. Even before that when the Dragon was still a rumbling thunder calling him from the faraway depths of his mind...

Even back then, It was _cold_.

_So that's it._

_It's Hyorinmaru. He's holding what's left of my consciousness, my Soul. He holds it tightly, enclosed in his little shell of ice refusing to let go because if he does, I'm gone for real. He'll keep holding on to it, on matter how far I go, how many more comrades and Shinigami I'll kill, how much more blood I'll spill, he'll keep holding on to it not allowing me to die, using the ice to keep the parasite blood away. _

_But I... I can't._

_I can't do this. _

_It's not like I'm not aware of my actions. I'm dead. I can't fight it because there isn't an _I _anymore. But this person who keeps killing his own comrades is myself, my body, my hands, my sword, my head, my unbreathing lungs, my unbeating heart, and I can't fight it._

_Can he really not fight it, or is it just the despair talking?_

At first, his heart failed. He wanted to choke. His stomach twisted, his chest felt like exploding from the luck of air. His head became light and heavy, and he felt like crying, from rage and pain alike. He felt like vomiting from all this blood splattered all over him and he only wanted to cry out loud and breath and _move_ _(move, move dammit! Get up! You have to get up and move or you'll—)_

But dead people can't breathe, or move, or cry, or choke, or vomit no matter how dirty and desperate they are. When you die, you die. There's no way around it.

But at that moment, he still had not realized he was _dead_.

Soon, the terrorizing sensations wavered. He still felt like choking, like crying, like raging and bursting but suddenly it was all bearable. Not easier, not lighter, not less painful, just _bearable_. _It had to be bearable because he could still feel it and he was still wishing for it to stop, and if it wasn't bearable he wouldn't have been able to still exist in this world and wish for things, No? he had no choice but to withstand it, the agony, the despair, the pain, _everything_._

_And there's the craving. A craving for... something of that Quincy, but he's devoid of any will and consciousness so he isn't able to express any of it. He'll just suffer quietly like the doll he is._

And then that vile Quincy spoke, and he moved, just like he wanted.

And he wished he would have just stayed dead.

. . .

I'll lay me down tonight

Much farther down

_Watch stars go out tonight_

_On sinking ground_

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**Note:** Doesn't Hitsugaya looks just so _Hot_ in the Wandenreich outfit?! Is he?! I can't wait to see that in the anime! my two most favorite characters fighting each other! (Well, more like one _slaughtering _the other, but Huh).. seriously, does anyone want to animate it now? Someone did it with Halibel's Resurrection before the real episode came out. Wonder what soundtrack they'll put!


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